Wasting.

I've been wasting most of a lot of time in my life doing something useless and it doesn't even have benefit upon me.
How do I did that like everyday on my lifetime and didn't realize it at all? And keep repeating and doing all the same instead.
I want everything in my life to be all as what I wanted it to be, but sometimes it doesn't always affect good on me nor important at all.

I throw away what I needed most by getting closer to what I wanted.
Life is supposed to has its up and down, the push and the pull, a roller coaster of life.
I shouldn't bragging about everything, moan how awful my life is, and think its the end of me, I even stressed out over the small thing which I practically made it bigger.
I'm just a human, I'm perfectly imperfect, I have flaws, I make mistake, I learn things, I laugh but I have time to cry also, I eat, I asleep and been awake; that is what another human do too.
I'm weak in almost of all the things against The Almighty God, ruler of the world.
Why does I have to feel rich-er than other, smarter, even better if we've all here been created as the same, as a imperfect human.
I should be grateful I have life and allowed to live here freely without any charge I should pay to God.
I can be sad, everyone also. Everyone can be sad and its not just me who always think have a big problem but everybody of course have their own. No matter it may slight sad, or someone even have it worse, I should just move on and enjoy the ride.
The thing in my lifetime that I really regret the most is how often I forgot who's me, I even forget there's God, there'll be the end and everything never lasts.
I waste too many times over wasted things that I should waste and throw them all away aside far from me.
Where am I?
God, I'm not perfect. Please guide me to find my light through the darkness space. Show me your way to the brighter place. Save me. Don't let me fall too deep caused by the branched trees that are falling and all the rough hard pebbles of life.