laila.

here I go again lacking sleep aching head usually unhealthy even felt guilt of eat cold night dimed light eyes of tears stressed mind mentally hurt physically tired forced smile on lips I thought I'll be okay I can be happy again no miserable more even sad but reality proved wrong I fucked up and all are mess thought of suicide all in mind scare me to hell red blood boiled damage dark haired weak body unwanted soul pale skin heart hurts yet, still smilling

My ship went down In a sea of sound. When I woke up alone I had everything: A handful of moments I wished I could change And a tongue like a nightmare that cut like a blade. In a city of fools, I was careful and cool, But they tore me apart like a hurricane... A handful of moments I wished I could change But I was carried away. Give me therapy. I'm a walking travesty But I'm smiling at everything. Therapy... You were never a friend to me And you can keep all your misery. My lungs gave out As I faced the crowd. I think that keeping this up could be dangerous. I'm flesh and bone, I'm a rolling stone And the experts say I'm delirious. Give me therapy. I'm a walking travesty But I'm smiling at everything. Therapy... You were never a friend to me And you can take back your misery. Arrogant boy, Love yourself so no one has to. They're better off without you. (They're better off without you.) Arrogant boy, Cause a scene lik...

It was around eleven o'clock sharp when I start writing this as I just finished spent my priceless hours over fanfic. You might think I'm crazy but the truth is I'm addicted as am I really are right now. The story pretty much has its own huge affect on me since there I also realized I haven't done studying yet. I do regret it a lot because now on I realized how stupid and wasted I am upon something may be worthless at time like this to do. Like I of course being dramatic just as usual because of my own laziness habit which I hated but I also keeping up and stay still with them. And then now at this very moment I also have myself writing down such no use words. I'm screwed for sure as I really am always. But, I will only young and beautiful once, except beautiful which I know I have never been ever. I'm sure shit won't fixing itself and also with my tired self whom once confessed just getting tired and bored with this unarranged shit right now. Hell, of co...

you're not the one who wipe my tear stain even heal my wounds and kiss my scars at least here by me through my pains you're gone way afar nowhere i knew not any sight left nothing unless promise you had tore awhile ago i'm laying down on the hard pale sand fight the cold wind myself buried deep enough beneath the tought of you that was never here how come you are heartless i remember your lips he won't tell lies as it said i believe by your eyes when it show won't leave what i even believe if those were lullaby which drift me to bleak all i could ask myself would i be strong enough to survive by my own left you behind as my past or even if you'd came for a purest apology could i even cure me as i remember now how its hard to forget my own pain to recover

I want to either die or be born again I dont know, I just do maybe if life is not as hurt as what I feel now I won't I'm a either failure or just failed by both still I can barely do anything maybe if I try hard enough but I'm weak life has taught me I'm here by chance with thousand or maybe just two to choose no right answer I should survive by my own bike because no other hands willingly help where this goes I dont know I just flew away by words don't take it way seriously neither do I understand I don't write poems even a heart touching poetry these just messed sentences no wonder why I was the one who's messed up

I'm having a terrible break down lately and its not good at all. I dont know what to do anymore, I'm more than messed up. I'm so damn miserable. I think about how I can barely be good to anyone including my parents even myself. I feel bad about everything. I know I can't ever be what they want me to be. They'll never be proud of me. I'm drowning, I got trapped and sucked up inside to the black hole. I can't save myself. It feels like I can't breath properly, I can't even hear my own heartbeats. I aim for all the good things upon me and set them all perfectly in my head, hope I'll immediately doing that. But, I was wrong. I'm so unmotivated. I'm lazy and all. I don't know how to get my sadness and lazyness off of me. They stay here, scratch things and tattooed in its arrow soul of mine. I'm tired, extremely tired. I don't know how to stop myself from being tired. I feel it like all the time. Just almost as often as I feel ...